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- Señor doctor, ¿por qué tengo la sensación de que todo el mundo me ignora, que pasa de mí? - ¡El siguiente, por favor! Week:
- Doctora, por favor, sea sincera, no me mienta y dígamen cuánto tiempo me queda... - Diez, nueve, ocho, siete... Week:
Era un tipo tan gafe, con tan mala suerte que una vez que decidió terminar lanzándose al vacío... estaba lleno. Week:
- Mi mujer está a punto de dar a luz, doctor. - ¿Es su primer hijo? - No señor, soy su esposo.
Short Spain Jokes
Q: How does every Spanish joke start?
A: By looking over your shoulder.
Q: Whats the difference between a smart Spaniard and a unicorn?
A: Nothing, they're both fictional characters
Q: Did you hear about the winner of the Spanish beauty contest?]
A: Me neither.
Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in Spain?
A: He couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.
Q: How many Spaniards does it take to change a lightbulb.
A: Just Juan
Q: Who is the Spanish patron saint of shoes?
A: San Dalia.
Q: What do you get when you cross a Spaniard and an Iranian?
A: Oil of Ol'e.
Q: What were the 2 Spaniard FireFighting Brother's names?
A: Hose A and Hose B
Q: Why don't Spaniards play hide and seek?
A: Cause nobody will look for them?
Q: What do you call a Spaniard with a rubber toe?
A: Roberto!
Q: What do you call a Spaniard with a lowered car?
A: Carlos!
What do you call a Spanish streaker? Señor Willy.
How do you make a Spanish Chili? You Stick the popsicle up the Hombre!
Spanish Restauran
An American tourist goes into a restaurant in Spain and orders the specialty of the house. When his dinner arrives, he asks the waiter what it is.
"These, senor," replied the waiter in broken English, "are the arms of the bull killed in the ring today."
The tourist swallowed hard but tasted the dish and thought it was delicious. So he comes back the next evening and orders the same item. When it is served, he says to the waiter, "These arms... are much smaller than the ones I had last night."
Piss
This Spanish dude was taking a pee on the side of a building and this Englishman sees him. After the Spaniard is done the English bloke asks him, "How come you Spaniards don't wash your hands after you pee?" The Spaniards smiles, "Senor, we Spaniard don't piss in our hands..."
Reporters
Spanish singer Alejandro Sanz was on television with British TV host Anne Diamond when he used the word 'manana'. Diamond asked him to explain what it meant.
Alejandro said that the term means "maybe the job will be done tomorrow, maybe the next day, maybe the day after that. Perhaps next week, next month, next year. Who cares?"
The host turned to Irishman Shay Brennan who was also on the show and asked him if there was an equivalent term in Irish.
"No. In Ireland we don't have a word to describe that degree of urgency," replied Brennan.
Un Hombre
Un hombre despertó cubierto de pelos. Fue al doctór y le dijo: "Digame, doctór - que padezco?"
Y el doctór le dijo "Padeces un osito"
Blondes
A blonde was sitting on a bus reading the newspaper when all of a sudden she starts to cry. The Spanish guy sitting next to her asks what's wrong and she replies that 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in a drug bust. The Spanish man agrees that the news is very sad. After a while the blonde asks, "How many is a Brazilian?"
Rhymes & Funny Sayings
Ropa is not rope, sopa is not soap, and butter is mantequilla (meant to kill you)
Gracias. Espero que vosotros consiga los pollos de goma debajo de sus almohadillas!
