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- Bueno, Juanito: ¿Puedes definir la palabra TELEPATÍA? - Claro, profe: es un aparato de televisión para la hermana de mi padre. Week:


- Señor doctor, ¿por qué tengo la sensación de que todo el mundo me ignora, que pasa de mí? - ¡El siguiente, por favor! Week:


- Doctora, por favor, sea sincera, no me mienta y dígamen cuánto tiempo me queda... - Diez, nueve, ocho, siete... Week:


Era un tipo tan gafe, con tan mala suerte que una vez que decidió terminar lanzándose al vacío... estaba lleno. Week:


- Mi mujer está a punto de dar a luz, doctor. - ¿Es su primer hijo? - No señor, soy su esposo.

Short Spain Jokes

Q: How does every Spanish joke start?
A: By looking over your shoulder.


Q: Whats the difference between a smart Spaniard and a unicorn?
A: Nothing, they're both fictional characters


Q: Did you hear about the winner of the Spanish beauty contest?]
A: Me neither.


Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in Spain?
A: He couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.


Q: How many Spaniards does it take to change a lightbulb.
A: Just Juan


Q: Who is the Spanish patron saint of shoes?
A: San Dalia.


Q: What do you get when you cross a Spaniard and an Iranian?
A: Oil of Ol'e.


Q: What were the 2 Spaniard FireFighting Brother's names?
A: Hose A and Hose B


Q: Why don't Spaniards play hide and seek?
A: Cause nobody will look for them?


Q: What do you call a Spaniard with a rubber toe?
A: Roberto!


Q: What do you call a Spaniard with a lowered car?
A: Carlos!


What do you call a Spanish streaker? Señor Willy.


How do you make a Spanish Chili? You Stick the popsicle up the Hombre!

Spanish Restauran

An American tourist goes into a restaurant in Spain and orders the specialty of the house. When his dinner arrives, he asks the waiter what it is.


"These, senor," replied the waiter in broken English, "are the arms of the bull killed in the ring today."


The tourist swallowed hard but tasted the dish and thought it was delicious. So he comes back the next evening and orders the same item. When it is served, he says to the waiter, "These arms... are much smaller than the ones I had last night."

Piss

This Spanish dude was taking a pee on the side of a building and this Englishman sees him. After the Spaniard is done the English bloke asks him, "How come you Spaniards don't wash your hands after you pee?" The Spaniards smiles, "Senor, we Spaniard don't piss in our hands..."


Reporters
Spanish singer Alejandro Sanz was on television with British TV host Anne Diamond when he used the word 'manana'. Diamond asked him to explain what it meant.


Alejandro said that the term means "maybe the job will be done tomorrow, maybe the next day, maybe the day after that. Perhaps next week, next month, next year. Who cares?"


The host turned to Irishman Shay Brennan who was also on the show and asked him if there was an equivalent term in Irish.


"No. In Ireland we don't have a word to describe that degree of urgency," replied Brennan.


Un Hombre
Un hombre despertó cubierto de pelos. Fue al doctór y le dijo: "Digame, doctór - que padezco?"


Y el doctór le dijo "Padeces un osito"

Blondes


A blonde was sitting on a bus reading the newspaper when all of a sudden she starts to cry. The Spanish guy sitting next to her asks what's wrong and she replies that 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in a drug bust. The Spanish man agrees that the news is very sad. After a while the blonde asks, "How many is a Brazilian?"


Rhymes & Funny Sayings

Ropa is not rope, sopa is not soap, and butter is mantequilla (meant to kill you)

Gracias. Espero que vosotros consiga los pollos de goma debajo de sus almohadillas!

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Wats d height of hope?? It is: sittin in d exam hall, holdin d question paper in hand n tellin ur self “dude,dnt worry. Exams wil get postponed!”

Rain of summer, snow of winter, grace of autumn, glory of spring, May beauty of every season give ur heart a beautiful reason 2 smile. May God suceed u in every exams of ur life. Good luck & all the best.

Good FRIENDS are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget.

eXams are there, at the paper u stare; the answer is nowhere, which makes u pull ur hair. The teachers make u glare, the grades r not fair, but just like the past 20 yrs, WE DONT CARE !!

Human brain is the most outstanding object in world. It functions 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. It functions right from the time we are born, and stop only when we enter the examination hall

To be a “Good professional”, always start to study late for “Exams”. Because it teaches how to manage “Time” and tackle “Emergencies”!!

To accomplish great things, We must not only act, But also dream, Not only plan but also believe,

Exams are like Girl friends - Too many questions - Difficult to understand - More explanation is needed - Result is always fail!

A student grabbed a coin, Flipped it in the air & said, “Head, I go to sleep.” Tail, I watch a movie. If it stands on the edge I’ll study

It takes 15 trees to produce the amount of paper that we use to write one exam.

join us in promoting the noble cause of saving trees. SAY NO TO EXAMS

You must be a good runner because you are always running in my mind, you must be a good thief because you have stolen my heart, and i am always a bad shooter because I Miss You Always...

True love is like a pillow U could HUG it when u r in trouble U could CRY on it when u r in pain U could EMBRACE it when u r happy Want True Love? Spend Rs.50 BUY A PILLOW

Dictionary is da only place where death comes before life, success before work, & divorce before marriage. but the Best part is Friend comes before relatives :)

A true Friend is not like ',",'Rain',",' Which Rained & left away. A true friend is like ~_~AIR_~_~ Symptoms silient but always around u :) Take Care alot

May our friendship turn into silver, silver into gold, gold into diamonds... and may our diamonds be forever... Then we'll sell it OK? Fifty-Fifty

Three dreams of a man: To be as handsome as his mother thinks. To be as rich as his child believes. To have as many women as his wife suspects

Child Donkey: Mum with whom shall I play, every donkey is busy. Mother Donkey: Don't worry son, see here, this donkey will be free after reading this SMS.

Husband asks, do you know the meaning of WIFE. It means… Without Information fighting every time! WIFE says No, it means - With Idiot For Ever

What's the difference between stress, tension and panic? Stress is when wife is pregnant, Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, Panic is when both are pregnant.

GALILEO: great mind EINSTEIN: genius mind NEWTON: extraordinary mind BILL GATES brilliant mind ME: master mind YOU: oh! never mind

I have a confession to make ever since I met u its been hard for me to 4get u every night I see u in my dreams and find myself shouting GHOST GHOST !!!

Some times small things in life hurt a lot..... If u don't agree with me.... Then >>>> Try to sit on a Common Pin !!

To live this life i need a heart beat, to have a heart beat i need a heart to have a heart i need hapines and to have hapiness i need u

Wrote your name on the sands.....It got washed away,i wrote your name in air....It got blown away,so i write your name in my heart...I got heart attack!!!

Your attention please Thanks 4 ur attention. Now carry on ur work...

Hey listen...... Two people were asking Me about you, I give them ur address And cell no, They will b visiting u soon, Their names r joy n happiness.

Let me draw ur face! Dont MOVE! Nearly finished OK Done! Wanna have a look? .,|!|,. ( o)(o) ( ,)

Height of fashion? Dhoti wid zip. Height of secrecy? Blank visiting card. Height of stupidity? Looking thru a keyhole of glass door. Height of honesty? Pregnant woman purchases 1 & a half ticket. Height of de-hydration? A cow giving milk powder. Height of timewasting? U reading the whole msg.

Friendship is the rainbow between 2 hearts sharing of 7 colors. 1.LOVE 2.SADNESS 3.HAPPINESS 4.TRUST 5.FAITH 6.SECRET 7.CARE Take Care n Have a nice day:-)

A 992 i n0279q biquT2 2m2 pni992 .2iHT 9>IiI (use mirror to read) pls dnt erase! its really interesting

This iz crime story 5 frndz lived in a room Namely MAD BRAIN FOOL NOBODY SOMEBODY 1day SOMEBODY killed NOBODY. At that time BRAIN was in bathroom, MAD called police. MAD:Is it police station? Police:Yes,wht iz the matter? MAD:SOMEBODY killed NOBODY. Police:R u mad? MAD:Yes,i"m MAD. Police:Dnt u've BRAIN. MAD:BRAIN iz in bathroom.. Police:U FOOL... MAD:No,FOOL is reading this sMs

it takes 15 trees 2 produce d amount of paper dat we use 2 write in 1 exam.join us in promoting d noble coz of saving treez.....say NO 2 exams:-)

I miss "STARS" sTARs think i m serious bUt i m joking! I miss "MOON" m00n thinks i m serious bUt im joking! I miss "U" U think i m joking but i m serious!

Medicines and friendship cure our problems. The only difference is that, Friendship don't have an expiry date.

Today is Donald Duck's birthday .... :) So wish him by sending this sms to every cartoon you know. Just like I did by sending this sms to you...

Roses r red violets r blue. Monkeys like u should kept in a zoo Don't get angry because u will find me there too. Not in a cage but laughing at you

Dear customer, U r not using ur SmS service properly.Ur sim will be deactivated soon.To avoid this,urgently reply with a cute SmS to the sender. Sndr's watng?

3 monkeys escaped from zoo! Ist watching T.V. 2nd plays soccer n 3rd is... Not u yaar ! 3rd is eating banana.y u r always think u r a monkey

I'd love to take u out 4 dinner, make u sit beside the candle light, shower u with roses and utter those 3 magical words in ur ear "PAY THE BILL

Once Upon a Time, Something happened to me. It was the sweetest thing that ever could be. It was a fantasy, a dream come true it was the day I met you.

Love is like a cloud... love is like a dream... love is 1 word and everything in between... love is a fairytale come true... Coz I found love when I found U.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I was born beautiful, but what the hell happened to you?

Girls are like phones, we like to be held and talked too, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

We will now upgrade your brain, please wait.... Searching.... searching... still searching.... sorry, NO BRAIN found...!

Roses r red, violets r blue, Sugar is sweet, and so are u. But the roses r wilting, the violets r dead, The sugar bowl's empty and so is your head!

This sms can only be read by someone SMART, try again, again, maybe you are.. just not smart?? one more time. hey don't force it ugly!!!

Last night I wanted to send you a msg, But all I could write was, “noh ss!w !”. It didn’t make mush sense Until I read it upside down...

I'd love to ask how old you are, but unfortunately I know you can't count that high.

Who said English is easy??? Fill in the blanks with YES or NO. 1.______I don’t have Brain.… 2.______I don’t have Sense.… 3.______I am Stupid....

A physiological study has proved that all the fools, donkeys, monkeys used their thumbs to read the messages Don’t change your finger know its too late.

How to keep an idiot entertained *press down*

…………………………………

How to keep an idiot entertained *press up*

FRIENDSHIP isn't how U forget but how U forgive, Not how U listen but how U Understand, Not what U see but how U feel, and not how U Let Go but how U hold on!!!

WIFE : Worries Invited For Ever

A Friendship is Sweet when its NEW.. Its Sweeter when its TRUE But Its Sweetest when the friend is like U.

Doctor : A person who cures the ills by pills, and kills by his bills.
How do you keep an idiot in suspense............?? Tell you later........
Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now... Sorry I am leaving now, I can't find a brain
A million words would not bring you back, I know, because I've tried. Neither would a million tears. I know, because I've cried.

Hey friend remember that without stupidity there can be no wisdom and without ugliness there can be no beauty. so the world needs YOU after all!

Minds are like Parachutes. They work best when open

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together

Aim for the stars. But first, aim for their bodyguards

ALGEBRA: A weapon of math destruction

Why were males created before females? Because you always need a rough draft before the final copy

This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! ... Now read without the word dog.

All day I thought of you.... I was at the zoo.
CNN News. Bush orders 15,000 FBI trained dogs to track down Osama. FBI awaiting further orders as one of the dogs is reading this

Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.

Hi there, I'm a human being! What are you?

Brains aren't everything. In fact in your case they're nothing

I heard someone whisper your name, but when I turned around to see who it was, I notice I was alone, then I realize it was my heart telling me that I miss you.

My eyes are hurting coz I can't see U, My arms are empty coz I can't hold U, My lips are cold coz I can't kiss U but, My heart is breaking coz I'm not with U!
I need you to know our friendship means a lot - If you cry then I cry, if you laugh then I laugh.. if you jump out the window I look down then....I laugh again
True friends warm the heart, make you laugh, smile... yes, you are a true friend.
A friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature.

Always draw a circle around the ones you love, never draw a heart because hearts can be broken, but circles are never ending.

Memories last forever, they simply never die, true friends stay together - they NEVER say good-bye.

God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested
I believe in Angels, the ones that Heaven sends. Each day I tell those Angels, you are my best of friends.
Friendships multiply joys and divide grief.
Without humor, life sucks Without Love, Life seems hopeless. But without a friend like you, life is nearly impossible.

If you need advice, text me... if you need a friend, call me ... if you need me, come to me... if you need money........ SUBSCRIBER CANNOT BE REACHED!
It takes a minute to have a crush, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

If you can't change your mind, are you sure you still have one?
Marriage is a three ring circus: an engagement ring, a wedding ring, and suffering

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

What is the thinnest book in the world? What Men Know About Women

What's the quietest place in the world? The complaint department at the parachute packing plant

News: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo... 1 was caught watching tv... another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message

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